Well, the good news is that Nora didn't pee on herself!!! But, unfortunately, there is bad news! :( When I went to pick her up at the door, her teachers said they had a small problem. And before the could say anything I looked to the right and saw Nora sitting up against the wall. I knew she was in time out. They said she seems to have a problem with sharing and hitting. I immediately started to cry. If you know Nora at all then you know she has had this aggression problem since we moved to Arkansas. It's really quite embarrassing!! She will hit and push with no hold bar!!! I felt so ridiculous for crying, but her teachers were really nice about it. They said she probably get better as she gets used to their schedule and all the kids. This is her first time at school so lets hope they are right!!
The biggest reason it's so embarrassing when your child is the bully is because it feels like it's a reflection of you. I have a fear that people think I just yell and push and shove my child all day and never discipline. My poor daughter is in time out at least 3 times a day and even that might be modest. Sometimes she even puts herself in time out. It's obvious that's not a very effective form of punshment! ;)
Any advice from parents that have "strong willed" children???? Help!!!!
5 comments:
I am so glad I am not the only one! When Evan first started nursery he was the nursery bully. Why do you think I am now the nursery leader now ;).
Evan's aggresivness really bothered me at first. I didn't know what to do about it and you are right it is embarassing to feel like you have to justify you child actions. The more I thought about the situation though I realized that Evan was doing the only thing he could to cope with a stressful situation. Some kids cry or become whiny or reclusive in stressful situations. Unfortunately my child gets agressive. Very rarely did he hit or push with anger. He just did it to do it, not knowing how to express the feelings he was feeling. It may also have been a way for him to bring attention to himself so he could get his needs met.
He was tired, hungry and he hadn't spent a lot of time with lots of other kids. Now I do all I can to minimize those stressors. I make sure Evan eats and lays down during sacrament. Also now that Evan is more comfortable in that situation he doesn't act up nearly as much. I am sure it helps that I am there also. I realize that may not be an option for you.
Nora may just be having a hard time adjusting and doesn't know how to cope. Try to minimize stressors. Give her time to adust before thinking that your child is destined to be a bully.
Those are my thoughts. Of course this is with limited information. May be it will help. Call me we can chat about it.
Nicole--
Audrey is huge...and so adorable. She is getting so big. I can't believe it.
And, Nora, I can't believe she is in school...that is preschool right?
Anyway, I don't really have much experience with the whole aggressive kids, but Carl's sisters do. They both had problems with their 2-3 year old. They would hit, bite, etc. They both prayed really hard about it, and got different answers for each kid. My only advice that they gave me was that Heavenly Father knows them better than we do. He knows their weaknesses and struggles. He wants to help them, so if you go to Him, he will help you. He can help you with Nora's individual need.
I know that might sound lame, but it has really helped me whenever I have a challenge with my kids. We love you!
Nicole...Jonathan and I talked about it, and couldn't believe that you and Wade would have problems with that, being that you two are so laid back and sweet! Maybe she is having a harder time then you thought with the little one, and you should mention it to your peditrian. Also...I agree wiht the praying on it. He never leaves you. Also...maybe having one over that is her age...watching them, and firmly correcting her as incidents happen? I'm sorry. I know she is really a sweetheart, and this is just a phase. But, it doesn't make it any easier on you. We'll keep you in our prayers.
Okay, so I TOTALLY mispelled....pediatrician. Is that right?!!
I can't believe how big both the girls are!! Nora looks old enough to be in Kindergarten....how can that be? Isn't she the same age as Charles? I just love visiting your blog and wanted to let you know that I think you have a beautiful family. Don't feel bad about feeling bad...does that make sense? That just means you are a good mom. If you DIDN'T care, then I would be worried. LOL
Anyway, take it from a mom of four...when your child misbehaves it's not because you're a bad mom or that you didn't do your job. Some children just express themselves in different ways. One thing you could do is talk to her about what she could do when she is angry. We used to tell little Gary that he was allowed to be angry, but he couldn't hit anyone or break anything. I read an article about how you could have your child punch a pillow or the bed when they are angry and that seemed to work for Gary. It only took a few times and then he realized how silly it was.
I know in the meantime it will be frustrating, but don't worry I know Nora and she is a sweet girl. She is also VERY smart. I am sure she will figure out soon that hitting and pushing will not her very far.
By the way, thanks for the comment on my blog. It made me feel good to know people are actually vising. I hope to get the hang of it real soon.
Take care and continue the good job with your blog.
Post a Comment